the beautiful unknown.

life is truly such a huge giant question mark at this point.

what do i know to be true?

i am leaving for israel march 12. i love my friends more than anything. working at perry's makes me crazy. i am graduating in december. i am terrified of online classes and the fact that my DR teacher thinks i'm in lakeland and can go to a meeting with him this week. i have no idea what i'm doing. my appetite is starting to come back.

what don't i know?

what happens after israel. do i move to lakeland, or go back to atlanta for the summer, or come home, or do an internship or go overseas? should i start studying for the GRE? should i apply to schools for fall 2010? do i want to get my MSW or do clinical or counseling? or do i just want to move away and work in the slums or in some remote village? am i going to meet someone? am i going to fall in love again? are my friends going to be okay?

i feel like the HUGE things are the question marks. the things i know to be true are completely trivial and don't really matter that much.

i am afraid of forgetting about doing my school work.

i am afraid of my DR class.

i am looking so forward to my first visit to lakeland, and the day we leave for israel.

actually.. i LOVE the unknown.

i love that my life is a question mark. i love that i have options. i love that i dream. i love that i have goals but nothing in stone. i love that i can do whatever i want and go wherever i want.

and for so long i felt bad about all of that. i thought i needed a plan and concrete and absolutes. i thought i wasn't mature because i didn't. i felt bad. i don't want to feel bad about it. because, i truly love those things about myself.

i love being young.

i love being single.

this is a good place to be. i have such a horizon. so much unknown and i cannot wait to dive straight into it.

but i really do have anxiety about that DR class. ugh. that needs to peace out immediately. i was not born to be a student.

i can't wait to see what is in store :)