unfinished sentences.

should i stay?

my heart is being divided in two directions.

niceville.
lakeland.

past.
present.

future?

who knows.

independence, an apartment, friendships, starbucks and/or geico, late nights, weekend parties.

but at the same time

people i need to escape, a place i need to avoid, the campus that will slowly crush my spirit again. no security of a job, no promise of fun times, an apartment that wont be completely mine.

but here there is money to save, friendships at home, spiritual growth, living the niceville dream.

my soul needs to heal. a thousand times over. and i feel like it can only really be done here, at home, in the place where so many memories reside. i don't want to see him, i don't want to see her, i don't want to share a city and risk seeing their happiness while i am still not okay.

i need to be away. 412 miles away.

but my friends are there. and the life i want to live is there. and the people i want to be with are there.

oh, decisions. my worst enemy and my closest friend all wrapped up in one terrifying idea.